Question of the week {1/23/08-1/30/08} Who's to know?
6 Comments Published by His Daily Variety on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 9:19 AM.
{Who's to know}
Can you date someone who openly tells you they are HIV positive? Deal Breaker? Do you trust the men who say they are negative to be telling the truth? Are you safer with the guy with whom you know your limits, or the guy who you must trust is telling you the truth (if anything is shared at all)?
MUSE- Steven Claiborne
First off, I must tell you I now look forward to your question of the week.
Second, a few years ago, I sat down and made a list of all the Black gay men I considered either friends or good acquaintances, separating them into who was HIV negative or positive. Those who are HIV positive far outnumbered those who are negative.
I have dated HIV positive men and do not consider that a deal breaker. His personality and our relationship together is more important than his health status.
As for worrying about some who says they are negative, if we are building something we need to practice safe sex at the outset and then go get tested together if we ever decide to stop being safe.
i second bernie there nothing more to say. i am enjoying these ?s of the week each week. Keep the coming. And if they are honest even to share there status wit you then you know they more than likely will be honest about everything else. Yes people say they dnt want everyone in their business thats why they put negative but that only makes this strain when it is time to disclose
Well, as far as sex is concerned, I assume everyone is positive. Even if he just got papers to say he's negative, that means he was negative 6 months to a year ago. If he's been infected since then, the antibodies won't have shown up -> negative result.
I think a guy telling you he's poz tells you alot about his character and how comfortable he is with himself. Certainly not a deal breaker.
Someone being positive is not a deal breaker for me. I have dated people in the past who were positive and there status was not a hinderance. I practice safe sex and it doesn't matter if your negative or positive.
I've never met anyone with HIV or AIDS in person so I can only imagine how I might be toward it. I am a caring and sensitive guy so I have compassion and I'm empathic toward all situations and circumstances. Meeting someone with the virus would probably turn me from 'date' and 'fuck' mode into 'you can lean on me' mode.
holla
HIV & AIDS, like sexuality, is something that cannot always be determined by the way that one looks or acts. It is only by their sharing of that information that you would know for sure. Adonis' comment touches exactly on the sentiment that movtivated this question in the first place. Why do we think we have this natural ability to just look at people and tell their status? And out of this we garner some sense of comfort and peace? Turst me you HAVE met someone with HIV or AIDS. You just didn't know it, realize it, or choose to ask the question. How safe does that make you feel?