H i s d a i l y v a r i e t y

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Flesh to Flesh

From award-winning author Lee Hayes -- an erotic exploration into the lives of African-American gay men and their desires for love and acceptance.

Unapologetically raw in its approach to the sexual lives and happenings of African-American gay men, Flesh to Flesh is a gritty, pulsing view into a demographic that is often demonized and condemned. These stories provide a rare, true revelation of how gay men are faring in an age where sensuality is a major factor in everyday media and consciousness.

What do gay men feel about life, love, relationships, and intimacy? For anyone who has wondered about the passion between two men, this explosive, sexually charged anthology peels back the layers to show what lies beneath modern stereotypes and homophobia


If it helps I help shoot the cover. LMAO
And no that is not why my best friend is on the cover.


What does it take for someone to get activated? My skin is breaking out in some strange rash, that I hear will get worst before its gets better, I’m bored to tears at my job, I’ve gained weigh, and I’m much to vain to be over weight. All in all none of these things have driven me. I have become so comfortable in “it is what it is” that I allow a lot of things fall to the waste side. I guess it’s my strange way of manipulating energy, to not sweat the small stuff. Well I’ve taken don’t sweat the small stuff too far, and allowed life to pass me by. A close friend of mine passed away Saturday, or that is when they found his body. I hadn’t realized how bad I am with grieving till now. I feel so guilty, mad, and angry. Did he take his own life? Was he sick? He had pushed us away, saying he found God. No one will argue with that. Well I didn’t. I saw him a few months back. He didn’t look well. Body thin, muscle mass gone. A child in men’s clothes. I didn’t say anything! But I did call other and say he didn’t look well, I hope he is ok. He wasn’t, and I didn’t open my mouth. Me mouth all mighty didn’t say a word. He sent out a simple email saying “Hello Everyone, I just wanted to let you know that today is my last day at this job. After today if you need reach me, please email me at xxx@yahoo.com or feel free to call.” I didn’t call!

I hate to think in his last days he felt so alone, that he didn’t reach out. I yell, and scream in my mind, and ask God why didn’t, he say I need help! I need a hug, I need an ear. I spend all day, returning letters, and helping people I will never lay eyes on, and someone I knew for 10 years got pass me! I didn’t even notice. Why didn’t I say something? Fear of fighting? Most likely, but it’s what we did. As I review all the emails that we have sent back in forth, I now realize it was him trying to see if I cared. In ten years I don’t remember once saying I love you KJ! You are my friend. I am so sorry for that man. I love you! And I promise I will not let anyone that is hurting so much in my life, go with out me opening my mouth, and saying my piece. I remember moments when all I needed was a hug, the thoughts drumming in my head. If only someone would lay there hands on me. Taken me close into them, and let me know I wasn’t alone. As I think back, I recall saying, I will ask next time, if he needs me. What’s wrong? There wasn’t a next time. KJ I hope in your next journey I will have the unique reward, to be a part of your life again, and I promise you I will love you openly, and not give two damns if you push me away, I ain’t going no where! I PROMISE! I love you man hope to see you again, you may have to wait a minute, but I’ll be there.

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Jared Paul Shuler

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