Question of the Week! January 9th to January 16th
9 Comments Published by His Daily Variety on Wednesday, January 09, 2008 at 12:19 PM.
As I was sifting thou my emails earlier this week. I came across one that stood out to me. "Why do gay men hate each other?" It was for a discussion group, that I've had gone to in the past, but with in the last few years have pass over. Generally when I read things like this, I feel that they don’t have anything to do with me. This question was a little different as positive as I can be at as a person, I can be just as surly and curt. Saying that, there are more then a few folks on the "I can’t stand you list". As I enter 30, Hate is something I'm trying to move past. Yes! People play seasons in your life, but to hate them is wrong, to pay them dust, is altogether another beast.
This leads me to the question of the week!
Why gay men hate each other?
Hate is a universal understanding, we all know that, but in such a small community Why so much hate? I’m guilty of this whole heartedly I’ll cut someone off in an instant. But maybe the universe is trying to eke its way in, and put a little sunshine in my life. We will see. Never disregard the Olive Branch!
Question inspired by DLB
Largely we compete for power and impoertance, all the while dealing with serious issues of self realization. It becomes very difficult to embrace others when we can't even stand ourselves at the end of the day.
I don't accept the question as an accurate one. Clearly there are some people "with issues" and we all know folks like that. But I don't think you can make a blanket statement about all or even most gay men.
The behavior we see often manifesting itself as "shade" or even the "diva" persona is often derived from our own pain at being rejected or hurt by people who refused to accept us for who we are. If you go through early life being put down it is easy to use that behavior as your own style of treating others. Gay men suffering the most pain are the ones most likely to lash out and treat others in a hateful manner.
I think what we ultimately want is to love and be loved unconditionally. To get there we have to first heal the pain inside and stop behaving in a defensive manner.
Much like black people 'hating' each other or women 'hating' each other (Miss Jones anyone). Even though it doesn't make sense, it's definitely present and visible among many American minority groups.
WOW...Bernie too the words right out of my mouth actually.
I strongly believe that its not a matter of gay men hating each other but its a matter of people hating people.
If people would stop hating other people you would not have to worry about the sub-categories hating each other!
Good Post. It's a vicious cycle we MUST break...sometimes we're upset at each other for so long that we forget what we're all mad about...
Life is too short!
See you Soon!
inspired by DLB?
Divo-i-tus: Simply put “Divas” try to outshine one another
Well "J" I don't really think its hate, but more a issue of competition, being attracted, jealously, being insecure or self absorbed themselves. If you really think about when folks make those comments and if you were to ask immediately why? I'm willing to bet 90% of the time the responding person will say "I just don't like that bitch" for no reason, which will tend to give support for one of the reasons stated earlier. I believe people cannot explain things that they themselves cannot explain. Come one how many people can really or are really explain why they are jealous of someone, willing to admit why they are attracted to a total stranger to the point they hate them, that they are really self absorbed or insecure?? Its always easier to project it somewhere else.
Doing the work of cleansing yourself of negativity is hard but so rewarding, refreshing and AMAZING!....
S.D.
Love yah.. Barbados is awesome...