Building the Bridge between optimism and reality.
1 Comments Published by His Daily Variety on Thursday, July 27, 2006 at 2:06 PM.
He walked in oh so lady like, nails freshly manicured, lips a shiny honey tone, not a hair out of place. Linen shirt newly pressed an uncomplicated earth tone that want oh so well with his overly priced True Religion’s, that he chose to wear cuffed. I curse myself! “I hope this aint my damn date, this is the last time I let a fucking straight person hook me the hell up! They think they know two gay people, and it’s a match made in heaven.” We catch eye contact, I sharply dart my head down, hoping he thinks he may have been stood-up. “I don’t give a hell; I can’t be seen here with this lady”. Excuse me. He speaks directly to me about three octaves lower then I thought it would have been. Are you Jordon? He asks. With pressed lips and a hint of spite & vinegar in my voice. I answered a relic dent Yes!!! Well I’m Oliver your date! He says so matter a fact, like he doesn’t know he’s a humiliation. He reaches and extends his hand towards me. I press my firm grip into his, his compress matching mine. We’ll shall we sit? He leads the way. Sure I mumble and proceed to pace to the awaiting table.
I can’t help to wake-up and think. “You aint nothing but a faggot, a disease carrying, no moral having, crafting, abomination of God. Or am I looking though the eyes of the world outside of mine own. A side from the hatred and misunderstanding of the straight world. Is the over laying hate with in our community. The now online classic line, gay man proclamation. “No Fats No Fems!” If you look like the old Star Jones or having anything in common with Richard Simmons don’t contact me, No disrespect, just not my thing!
A community we’re being revered as a bottom is something looked down upon. Not considering there truly isn’t one with out the other. When do us as Gay men, take a glance around us and stop operating as if there isn’t a pink elephant in the room. When do we recognize optimism can only get you but so far? We as the Gay public need to live in our reality. If we keep imagining that this hallucination of a dream man will fall into out laps, and continue putting unrealistic boarder on every man that walks into put lives. We as a society will be a lot further from that dream house on the beach with your mates, and a lot closer to that old negro at the bar asking do you want a drink?
How do we bridge the line of being optimistic or just being plan out stupid? I have observed in life; you have to have a certain amount of optimism to not let the daily grind of life’s bullshit not get to you. But the question is when does being optimistic make you stupid? In each event in life there is a life lesson. Something inherent you should take with you, so you’re not damned to duplicate the same crap. So being optimistic is ok right? Yes, it most unquestionably is, but there is a fine line of knowing when its time to be positive, and a time to be an achiever and not a talker. Letting things happen on their own, without trying to force them or even prevent them from happening, is great. But always know the line. When is too much Optimism, just too much! In life as well as love, it takes a proactive approach. If there is anything in this life, we all should know by now is. Most beautiful things don’t always come in pretty boxes!
During dinner and drinks, I have to say I was significantly entertained. We speak about everything. Music, politics, family, he even backpacked thou Europe like I did. I found out we knew a lot of the same people. We went to neighboring colleges, and had old stories about going to school in the boondocks. Where you could get the best Hush puppies. And where they served the greatest Milkshakes after midnight. We got up to part ways; he reached out to hug me. I allow the embrace and we hold each other for a few seconds. So I hope to see you again, he says. I respond with a most definitely. He turns and wave’s good bye, and then vanishes behind the closing restaurant door. I walk to my car thinking, wow what a nice guy. But I doubt I’ll call him back, he’s a little to gay for me. Well maybe if I make it home in time I can catch a rerun of Golden Girls.
Wow! Just posted about this myself. It is so hard. I am doing a lot of self evaluation about this. I still haven't figured out if it is just my preference or am I being overly biased or too unfair. Is it wrong to dismiss someone because they are too fem?
I look at gay men in three categories: 1) Very gay and fem. Usually the ones that you would not be surprised if they did drag. Anyone can tell that they are gay. 2) Gay but wear mens clothes. Walking down the street you may or may not know that they are gay. They accept their sexuality 3) The DL bruhs. Closeted and definitely look like straight men. But have to deal with all of the issues that go with being closeted.
Now of course there are variations to this and is a generalization of sorts but how I look at the majority. I am not really interested in the fems (1) or DL (3). I prefer someone who is gay and accepts their sexuality, dresses like a man, doesn't have to be hard, and can walk down the street and not be flaming (2).