A good friend of Mine recently wrote a Blog, I thought I share. He is losing his faith I think?
"My Friends Blog"
So many times in life I've asked questions that seemingly have no answers. Some say to just let go and let god. But see that has always been my shortcoming. I was never one to walk blindly. I need answers. For EVERYTHING. Like for instance is it possible to be cursed. I'm not talking hokey pokey, witches brew, frogs, snails, and puppy dogs tails...I mean really cursed, from birth. To be destined for destruction. To always come up short on any deal. Metaphorically: To always get to the bus stop just as it's pulling away. Just when you are learning to be happy, Satan waves his bloody hand and instantly your world is upside down. You haven't done worst than most but yet you suffer beyond recognition. You ask the Creator for forgivness and he grants you mild happiness. And for these blessings you are immensly grateful. But just as you begin to trust him fully and let him work through you, LIFE happens, and your FAITH is once again in question. You tell yourself, "The devil is a liar, and is trying to trick me into turning my back" But honestly you don't know what to believe anymore. As you look back over your life, you see instances where you've called on HIM, and yet your obstacles remained insurmountable. You ask why. Why was Mommy taken by a brain tumor? Why was Step-Daddy abusive? Why was Granddaddy a raging alcohollic, who threatened your life with a loaded gun, and never apologized? Why was brother killed by a young kid driving his mothers car without a licensce? Why were you born gay, when everyone seems to think that it was a consciouse choice, and you however have no recollection of every waking up and saying, "I think today I'll fall in love with a man? Why have you had to push 20 times harder for what most people barely make an effort for? You try feverishly to maintain your faith, but it's still in question. You ask for answers. You ask for patience. You ask for signs. You talk to the Creator and you express your thankfulness for all blessings past, present and future. But God it's so hard to hold on to my FAITH right now, especially when it seems that everytime I get used to being ok with something, a new tragedy occurs. I'm trying so desperately, and if you know my heart then you know that to be authentic. People say, "It's only a test. A test of your love and faith." But I say, "Those that i love, and know love me, i just love them unconditionally. I don't test them to see how much they love me. I just know because they show it in their actions. And I was made in his likeness, right?"
My Replyed
A Jewish teaching that stresses if one is planting a tree, and hears the messiah is coming, one should continue planting. "Its our life-affirming actions that produce the reality of a messianic future."
To deal with the Bull shit, is life. All those things you have gone though and continue to go though are life. All these things that happen had/have nothing to do with you. You let people in this life have there issues. Dont take them with you. You as a person just learn to deal with the side effects. Mother's death, had nothing to do with you. Deal with the side effects. Brother dying, nothing to do with you. Deal with the side effects. Step father's, abuse to you HIS ISSUE, nothing to do with you. Deal with the side effects. Etc.
Life is not easy, never will be. But in that same note know that the more Bull shit you deal with, and make it though. The closer you are to Completing your Divine Destiny. Look at the Hardships as gifts on the Traveling road, to betterment. We all have different stories, some seem or look harder then others. But no one knows anyones life trial. Take the GIFTS of hardships, and rejoice in them!
If anyone has anything else to add to this, please hit me.
Hope that I don't sound preachy but I believe that everyone has dealt or will deal with that issue. There was a span of less than 4 years that I lost just about EVERY cornerstone in my life. I lost my great-grandfather, my favorite aunt, my best friend, my grandmother, my mother, and my great-grandmother. I really began thinking that I am going to be next. I thought that my family was cursed. But as I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture. I realized that I have been truly blessed. I knew my great-great-grandparents before they died in my high school years. I had my great-grandparents past my 25th birthday. What a blessing? To have such legends in my life.
I believed that it happened that way because I was not good with dealing with death earlier in my life. It was traumatic for me to see a funeral with people I didn't know. So for me to be able to spend a greater portion of my life without any close family members passing was a blessing. But as with anything in life, it had to come to an end at some point. When I looked at it like that, I am grateful.
I just blogged about being molested and abused as a child and know the pain and issues that it brings but have (like you said in your post) learned to deal with it and to continue my life. Continue my life without allowing the incidents of the past to negatively affect my present and future. I learned how to take my some of my trials (some because I am still learning) and use them as a learning experience. Searching for ways to help others in the same situations.
it was nice to have met you. I'll definitely return to read what you have on your mind here.